Dear Friends,

This Mother’s Day, I took my mom out for lunch. I purposely picked a place that would have vegetarian options. We went in, ordered, and sat down. Mom noticed my meatless baguette sandwich. I told her I had recently stopped eating meat. Then, she asked the simplest question: “Why?”

Why?

I was born with a sausage in each hand and a cheeseburger in my mouth. The woman sitting across from me fed me mostly beef for the better part of 18 years. I grew up near “Cowtown” and later moved to “Porkopolis”. Meat is deeply ingrained in Midwestern culture. Meat dishes typically come with a disproportionately small serving of vegetables, and vegetable dishes come garnished with meat.

Wouldn’t it be easier to navigate life just cutting back a little? Why after all of these years would I stop?

I began 2026 by being selective. The plan was simple. Eliminate beef and pork and substitute with chicken, fish, or beans when necessary. Eating at home it wasn’t that hard. Dining out, it was a little more challenging. Imagine going to your favorite pizza place and not being able to order your favorite pie. Pizza’s already not the healthiest choice, so what’s the harm in adding pepperoni? This was harder than I thought. Exceptions were made.

This went on for a few months, as I grew more frustrated with myself and my half-hearted commitment. I had been rationalizing that I was doing this as a way to reduce whatever harm I was causing in the world. I was telling myself that this was a way of practicing the Bodhisattva path. But was it?

Sentient beings are numberless; I vow to save them.

Sentience means a being has the capacity to suffer. The first of The Four Bodhisattva Vows tells us that there are countless suffering beings in the world. Autonomy and/or intelligence is not a requirement. Looking in the mirror, I see that this is true. Just because an animal appears to be “dumb” or lack the ability to self-govern, does not exclude it from suffering.

Delusions are inexhaustible; I vow to end them.

Delusions are the root cause of suffering. The second vow tells us that there are infinite ways to lie to ourselves that cause suffering. My lie, I think — or was it just a fib — was that I was fully committing myself to reducing suffering. The truth was, I wanted to feel like I was doing something without putting in any effort. The immediate suffering manifested in my internal conflict. The suffering unseen, impossible to quantify.

It is impossible to save all beings, impossible to end all delusions, but I knew I could do better. And being somewhat autonomous, I still had choices. I could continue to eat whatever meat I wanted and accept the fact that I am contributing to collective suffering — and to be honest, mostly for the pleasure of it. Or, I could stop eating meat and have a clear conscience.

I chose the latter. And I feel relieved.

For the last couple of months my food choices have been simpler. Eating no meat draws a clearer line; now there are no exceptions. I no longer feel like I’m lying to myself — as much. I’m sure there’s another delusion waiting to surface somewhere. Some other pickle I’ll have to pull out of the jar without getting my hand stuck.

The simple answer to my mom’s simple question? Because I had a choice.

Best,

Justin Tension